Men, Emotions and the Silence Between
Let’s Talk about Gender Roles and Mental Health
A few years ago, the brother of a close friend of mine committed suicide. He wasn’t even 30. The news was devastating. But what’s even more shocking? The numbers: In 2021, there were around 746,000 suicide deaths worldwide. 519,000 were men, compared to 227,000 women (Weaver, 2025). In other words, 7 out of every 10 people who die by suicide are men.
But why? What’s happening that makes men, more than women, more likely to die by suicide? While research shows that women are more vulnerable to having their mental health affected by different social factors (Ramos-Lira, 2014), there’s also a strong possibility that men’s struggles are underreported. It’s not that they don’t suffer or experience difficult emotions. They do. And deeply. The thing is, they often don’t want to talk about it, or they’ve learned to mask their pain through risky behaviors like addictions, irritability or impulsiveness (Dumais et al., 2005).
What have you heard about hegemonic masculinity?
I bet you’ve seen the Netflix series Adolescence. And if you haven’t, chances are you’ve at least heard about it, since the show sparked widespread conversation online a few weeks ago. In it, we watch a 13-year-old boy murder a girl classmate, and without giving away too many details that might spoil the series if you haven’t watched it, I can tell you it’s chilling to witness such violent, aggressive emotions and thoughts at such a young age.
After considering this whole scenario, I want to ask you a question: What do you think the centuries-old construct of masculinity has to do with this story? In this article, I want to explore how gender roles affect the mental health of both men and women and how hegemonic masculinity, in particular, can make it especially difficult for men to seek help. Breaking these patterns is urgent.
You’ve probably heard phrases like “boys will be boys” or “men don’t cry.” That’s not a coincidence or random saying. It’s a sign that for generations, men have been encouraged to appear strong and avoid speaking publicly about their problems. This is what we’re talking about when we talk about hegemonic masculinity, built on silence, toughness and emotional repression. It’s a cultural mandate that imposes on men the need to be heterosexual, dominant, “competitive, in control, and unburdened by vulnerability” (Dumais et al., 2005). Toughness, anger and hostility are seen as acceptable, while emotions like sadness, anxiety or fear are linked to vulnerability and bring shame.
Women's mental health also suffers from the consequences of gender roles
If you identify as a woman, have you ever been told you're too sensitive or overly emotional? You're definitely not alone. What’s often labeled as female “hypersensitivity” is actually a somewhat healthier tendency to be more open about expressing emotions (Chaplin TM, 2015). Interestingly, this stereotype doesn’t specify which emotions – yet research shows that emotions like happiness, sadnes and fear are more associated with women, while, as I mentioned earlier, anger and pride are linked to men (Fischer & LaFrance, 2014).
Women are allowed (and even expected) to express emotions, but that can also lead to their suffering being dismissed: Female emotions are often seen as exaggerated, hormonal or irrational. This perception also affects how they’re diagnosed, treated or listened to in the mental health field. If we live in a world that doesn't take women's health into account with the rigor it deserves, their mental health may be a field that is still largely unexplored.
Not Knowing How to Ask for Help Can Be Deadly. Here's What the Data Says
In short, it’s not that women feel more or more intensely than men – the difference lies in how emotions are expressed and perceived. Women are more likely to talk about emotions and by showing emotions like sadness or joy, women strengthen and maintain social bonds, which translates into support. In the same way, men’s lower emotional expressiveness also serves a function: it’s seen as more useful in competitive or hierarchical settings, where showing vulnerability might be perceived as weakness (Fischer & LaFrance).
The most recent global study, called ‘A systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2021’ and published by The Lancet Public Health, on suicide tells us that, although rates have dropped by 40% worldwide since 1990, the decrease hasn’t been equal for everyone. Rates have improved more among women than men, suggesting that the way we’re addressing men’s mental health is clearly not enough. Globally, the area with the highest suicide rate is Eastern Europe, where men are also the most affected.
The outlook is even more concerning for men living in Latin America. Surprisingly, suicide rates in this region have increased by nearly 40%. This may be linked to factors like social violence, inequality, political instability and lack of both access to mental health services and open conversations about it. It’s also no surprise that this is a region where the expectations of hegemonic masculinity remain deeply rooted.
Another important data point: The global average age at death by suicide has risen to 47 years, reflecting a silent crisis among adults.
Unfortunately, these studies have not explored intersectional factors such as sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity or social class. They continue to operate within binary categories of “men” and “women”, a limitation that highlights how much remains unexplored and how many perspectives are still missing from these large and necessary global analyses.
A mental health approach that sees people as individuals
Don’t you think it might be valuable to analyze metal health through a gender lens? Expressing emotions differently isn’t inherently bad. What is problematic is living in societies that trap men and women in unhealthy expectations that directly affect our lives and mental health. It becomes serious when asking for help feels impossible. Many men stay silent, not because they don’t feel, but because they were never taught how to ask. This silence can lead to anxiety, depression or even suicide (Sagar-Ouriaghl, 2019). Men cry too. But somewhere along the way, we stopped giving them permission.
Now consider a common experience: grieving the loss of someone. Whether it’s a partner because a relationship ended, a friend because people grow apart or a loved one because death is inevitable. Now think about how you’ve handled a moment like that. Do you think being a man or a woman made a difference? We could say, while recognizing the generalization, that women are more likely to talk to their friends about the absence and the pain of letting someone go. They’re more comfortable crying in public, or even on social media, and saying they need a hug while navigating the goodbye. Men, on the other hand, might go through this grief quietly, alone and by distracting themselves with activities instead of conversations to process their pain. Again, this doesn’t mean men feel less. It means we’ve taught them that their emotions should stay hidden, tucked away in silence.
Toward inclusive and equitable mental health
Recognizing our differences is healthy if we want to have informed discussions about mental health and to live together in society. Being aware of the diverse ways people express emotions is the best way to provide psychological and social support that truly works, because it takes those differences into account. It’s not about demanding that men, women or nonbinary people feel or live the same way, but about creating spaces that honor that diversity.
It’s about being more willing to talk about a topic that’s still taboo in many cultures and contexts. Maybe, if we started talking earlier in life about what weighs on our bodies and minds, and if we challenged gender roles and patriarchal norms that harm men’s and women’s mental health, we could live in a world where fewer people feel driven to end their lives.
That’s why sharing our experiences (whatever they may be) can make us agents of change in our communities. If you have a friend going through a hard time, encourage them to talk to you or to seek the help they feel comfortable with, on their own terms. Let’s not let our differences become rigid barriers that stop us from living in harmony with our emotions, because it’s not about feeling less or more, but about feeling freely, without fear or shame.
ReferencesChaplin, T. M. (2015). Gender and emotion expression: A developmental contextual perspective. Emotion Review, 7(1), 14–21. https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073914544408Dumais, A., Lesage, A. D., Alda, M., Rouleau, G., Dumont, M., Chawky, N., & Turecki, G. (2005). Risk factors for suicide completion in major depression: A case-control study of impulsive and aggressive behaviors in men. American Journal of Psychiatry, 162(11), 2116–2124. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.162.11.2116Fischer, A., & LaFrance, M. (2015). What drives the smile and the tear: Why women are more emotionally expressive than men. Emotion Review, 7(1), 22–29. https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073914544406GBD 2021 Suicide Collaborators, Weaver, N., Bertolacci, G., Naghavi, M., Rosenblad, E., Ghoba, S., Cunningham, M., Ikuta, K., Moberg, M., Mougin, V., Han, C., Wool, E., Dai, X., Dandona, L., Dandona, R., Degenhardt, L., Hamilton, E., Hay, S., Lim, S., Mestrovic, T., ... Murray, C. J. L. (2025). Global, regional, and national burden of suicide, 1990–2021: A systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2021. The Lancet Public Health, 10(2). https://doi.org/10.1016/S2468-2667(25)00006-4Polanco Cerón, N., & Morrison, R. (2024). La ocupación como reproductora del género: una aproximación a la masculinidad hegemónica. Cadernos Brasileiros de Terapia Ocupacional, 32, e3644. https://doi.org/10.1590/2526-8910.ctoAO279936443 Ramos-Lira, L. (2014). ¿Por qué hablar de género y salud mental? Salud Mental, 37(4), 275–281. http://www.scielo.org.mx/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0185-33252014000400001
Sagar-Ouriaghli, I., Godfrey, E., Bridge, L., Meade, L., & Brown, J. S. L. (2019). Improving mental health service utilization among men: A systematic review and synthesis of behavior change techniques within interventions targeting help-seeking. American Journal of Men’s Health, 13(3), 1557988319857009. https://doi.org/10.1177/1557988319857009